The Pool

As poems go this is pretty deep, written a couple of years ago when I was staring into the dark abyss of my pain while involved in some rather gruelling counselling.

I’ve made no secret of the fact that I’ve been seeking help to rid myself of a life time of emotional baggage. Doing so has been one of the best decisions of my life.

Fortunately, I’m not teetering on the pool’s edge anymore. I’ve dealt with the worst of the agony. Now, with the support of some important teachers and mentors I am focused on living … thriving.

I am grateful.

*

The Pool

I am standing at the edge,

Staring into an abyss of pain.

One step, just one step more

And to the dark pool I drop

Like a stone heading for

Rock bottom. There

Impact meets emotion

And a swell of the surreal

Circles in ever-growing

Impulses around me,

Rising and falling

With a cleansing rain

Of tears

Until it makes waves

No more and again the

Pool is still.

Peaceful.

Waiting.

*

Thanks for visiting …

Dorothy 🙂

Copyright Aimwell Enterprises 2012

The Art of Veil Painting … Cowboy Culture

Veil Painting: a meditative art form involving the painting of thin washes of water colour on a dry canvas, allowing the colours to dry between applications. There is no preconceived form in mind. Whatever appears, appears.

***

I have mentioned this art form in two previous blogs. The best way to look at the art is to stand back from it and observe with a soft eye.

This is a painting I completed a couple of years ago, and there’s so much going on here for me I hardly know where to begin. But then, it’s open to your own interpretation too.

Horses. A cowboy. Dogs. Big sky country. Heart. These are notions that pop into my mind when I study this image for a while. But then, I’m a country girl at heart and have always had a fondness for cowboy culture.

What are you seeing? I’d love to read your interpretations. Please feel free to share them with me …

Thanks for visiting …

Dorothy 🙂

Copyright Aimwell Enterprises 2012

Doubts and Troubles

I’ve been on a rather arduous journey to self-awareness the past several years.

As anyone who’s boarded that train will tell you it’s a journey rife with doubt, confusion, imagined troubles, sadness, gloom, joy, sorrow, elation, depression, discouragement, victory, relief, anger, grief, pain, ups, downs, happiness … you get the picture. It’s just been an h-e-double hockey sticks of a ride, and I am under no illusion that it’s over. As long as there is life there is room for more self-awareness … as long as you board that train, that is.

And really, I’m okay with that. I’m much happier with where I am now than where I was when this journey began. I just wish I’d thought to leave the station called “Stuck” sooner.

But then, I appear to be a late bloomer anyway, so the timing for all of this is likely perfect … as perfect goes.

Better to be late than never arrive at all.

How’s your journey going?

***

Doubts and Troubles

Sometimes everything seems clear;

All doubts and troubles disappear.

While other times around me tease

Those thoughts that drop me to my knees.

They toy with circuits in my mind,

So to my self I am unkind,

And make me feel like I am dead

Inside to all my soul’s been fed.

Self-preservation numbs all sense

And life is lived in self-defense.

But as we know this is a lie

For in this mode inside we die.

Tis best to feel what life’s about

It gives us strength, inside and out.

Then thoughts will have a chance to clear

While doubts and troubles disappear.

***

Thanks for reflecting with me …

Dorothy

Copyright Aimwell Enterprises 2012

The Art of Veil Painting — “The Artist as Singer”

Veil painting is a meditative art form based on the work of Austrian philosopher, social reformer, architect, esotericist and developer of the Waldorf education system, Rudolf Steiner. He believed in the healing qualities of colour, the nature of this colour “therapy” being to stimulate different emotional responses for each individual.

In veil painting, watercolours are thinned to a very light value and wet colours are applied one at a time only over dry colours.

With no preconceived idea of the final result, the artist patiently layers “veils” of colour one over another in varying patterns, never repeating exactly the same shapes in the same place. Ultimately the veils of colour will reveal an image or motif which the artist may then bring more into consciousness.

I took up veil painting several years ago during art therapy and fell in love with it. I loved its mystery which reminded me of my fondness for the semi-precious stone, Labradorite. At first glance the stone looks grey, but move it about under the light and it comes to life as a miracle of colour.

And so it is with veil painting. At first glance it looks to be only a mess of colour, but as one meditates upon it the shapes and patterns and colours start to come to life.

This is one of my early works, done when I was a member of a vocal trio called “ChoirGirlz.” The image reflected in this painting, to me at least, is a light silhouette of the profile of a female singer holding a microphone, her dark hair swept back as if the wind has blown through it. The woman is me and that’s why I call this painting “The Artist as Singer.” This image was not intentioned into the painting — it simply came into being as the work progressed. It is a reflection of the journey to self-awareness — ever-unfolding and enlightening to those who can see with a soft eye and an open heart.

I invite you to engage the singer, but encourage you to be satisfied with whatever comes into focus for you.

If you find her, let me know …

Copyright Aimwell Enterprises 2012

Work In Progress

This is another poem I wrote many years ago as I was beginning my journey to self-awareness. A painful time, it was of some benefit to remind myself I was not the pain I bore, but caught only in the shadow of it. I began to think of myself as a work in progress. This made the nature of any discomfort more present and passing and far easier to bear.

Still does …

Work in Progress

I am a work in progress.
The canvas of my life
Stretches across the easel
Of time, anticipating each nurturing
Brush stroke by the Masterful Artist.

I am a landscape ~
An ever-unfolding vista of colours,
And shapes and light.
The shadows of clouds
Float in, and out,
Dispersed by bright sunshine,
Irreverent and true.

The Masterful Artist reveals
Mysterious patterns and
Miracles with a
Flick of the conscience, or
A long, deep stroke of thought.
The brush of a shadow ~
The sweep of radiant light ~
Depth to denote character,
And dappled sunlight to
Delight the soul.

The Masterful Artist’s strokes
Are sure, each measure
Of the art-child completed
In its time ~
Contemplated and recorded.
Mistakes are washed away,
Remembered no more.
Flaws are embraced to
Profess a perfectly natural appeal.

I am a landscape ~
Time rolls across my verdent fields,
Tickled by morning dew drops ~
Each tender blade of
Life reaching beyond
Tomorrow ~ to grow ~
To stretch toward the measure
Of its creation.

I am a work in progress.
The canvas of my life
Gradually reveals a story
Spun by the Masterful Artist.
I am a Masterpiece.

*

Copyright Aimwell Enterprises 2012

Masks

In this world of masks
The velvet whisper of
Truth is muffled in
Coarse shadows veiling
The face of life.
Far easier, it is, to hide
Behind a mask than
Abide one’s own truth.
With too many questions,
And too few answers
We march on blindly
And uneasily into
Territories not our
Own; and never to
Be our own.
So much more inviting
It is to be what we
Are not, than to discover
Who we really are.

Sometimes we choose
Our masks, but often
We do not;
Instead placed upon our care-
Worn faces by others
And circumstances,
And never really knowing why.

* * *

And what masks?
Pretense-driven self-
Effacing vices to keep
Out the kind ~ to
Deny feelings, to
Bolster ego and to
Hide our truths from
Others, and from
Ourselves.

Sadness
Pervades the masked
Countenance,
And as much as we
Believe no one sees, the
Opposite is true.
Truth always prevails,
In this world of masks.

***

I wrote this poem several years ago as I was starting down the road to finding my truth.

While stepping out from behind the mask has been, and still is, uncomfortable at times, I’d rather see my self in the mirror than the person others unwittingly created in their own image.

I am more than the survivor I’ve been. It’s my turn to thrive.

The journey continues …


Copyright Aimwell Enterprises 2012